Welcome to my new blog. After a couple of years spent writing content for other people, I’m launching a blog to help grow J. Gause Digital. I’m starting now because of a sad and momentous event in my life and the lives of my family. We lost my mother last Friday after a very long battle with Metastatic Breast Cancer.

I wrote and delivered a eulogy of sorts at her funeral and thought “the world” should learn about my kind, funny, supportive mother, who pushed me to be the best Julie I could be. It’s her confidence in my abilities that inspired me to start J. Gause Digital, and I’m happy she saw me achieve some measure of success. I know that she was proud of me because she told me so!

Here are my remarks from her service:

For those few who may not know me, I’m Julie Gause. I am the eldest daughter of Mary Julia and Freddy. As if you can’t tell by looking at me.

Growing up as Mary Julia Gause’s daughter wasn’t always easy because of the high bar she set. But because of her influence I learned many life lessons that I’d like to share with you:

Always do your best. She had high expectations of her children and expected nothing but our best efforts in everything we did. Lara and I didn’t always meet these lofty goals, but even in failure, we always knew she was proud when we did the best we could. For example, I might’ve been Tennessee Academy’s worst ever basketball player. But when I scored the only goal of my basketball career she cheered as if I’d won the game. Not because I had (we actually lost by 30 points), but because I did my very best and that was enough.

Another lesson learned from her life is no quitting allowed. And after a crazy-long battle with breast cancer, starting at age 42, she didn’t quit fighting until the very end. It’s her voice in my head that I hear when I’m doing hard things, “Julie, you started this. You’d better finish it, no matter what.”

Never stop learning & expanding your horizons. Though Mama spent most of her life in Orysa and Nutbush, she was a country-girl with sophisticated tastes and interests. When I was growing up, she took (sometimes dragged) Daddy, Lara and I to numerous antique malls, musicals, symphony performances, ballets, art exhibits and countless museums and historical sites. Daddy jokes that we’ve read every “hiss-terical” marker in the state of Tennessee. And that’s not much of an exaggeration. I now appreciate those efforts immensely.

Be brave. She obviously showed unbelievable bravery in the past 6 years, but it started way before then. She raised Lara and I to go through life unafraid of the challenges it presents.

And on the more practical side: Never underestimate the value of a good housecoat; always have somewhere to tuck your Kleenex; and don’t be afraid to wear bright, happy colors.

Some other things you should know and remember about Mary Julia Gause:

• She was a faithful servant of the Lord with an unending appetite for studying His Word.

• She loved antiques and collected a house full of them, many from the antique booths she and Mary Jane Felker convinced Daddy and Coach Babe to help support. This “business” was mainly an excuse to continue buying things she loved when she had no more space in her home.

• She had a huge competitive streak. She played one sport or another most of her life. And she never met a board game she couldn’t dominate. Family game nights saw her almost always come out on top. I can honestly say she was the queen of Rumikub!

• Her home was always full of books to feed her love of reading. This was learned behavior from her precious parents: Mildred the teacher and Tom Walker the voracious reader of all novels by Zane Grey. She loved her book club and the ladies in it.  

• She loved to travel, visiting much of the US and many other countries. A recent favorite trip was our family Alaska cruise to celebrate their 50^th wedding anniversary. Great memories were made.

• We spent many a week at Pickwick Lake, starting in an Airstream trailer at JP Coleman State Park with our extended Orysa family and later at the Gause lake house in Counce. There was nothing she loved more than a fast ride on the water or an extended float in it. Going to Pickwick will never be the same. We’ll have many memories to which we can cling. 3 of the best:
  • Teaching Lara and me, plus many of our friends to water ski
  • Us trying to teach her to dive. (She never got the hang of it!)
  • And talking Daddy into upgrading to a tri-toon from their pontoon because it was TOOO SLOW.

Above all Mama’s love for her family must be remembered. Our core family is small, but her greater family of relatives and friends is large. She loved every one of you and looked forward to every outing, visit, card, and call. In particular:

• She loved her two sons-in-law, Lee and my husband Jay. Mama was very proud of them and excited about the success they’ve both built through hard work and dedication. She appreciated the care Lee takes of Lara and the kids. And she was grateful to have Jay in Knoxville to take care of me, when I let him, but mostly for being my partner in this life and adventuring through it by my side.

• She adored her grandchildren Jack and Elizabeth. She was SO proud of the young adults they’re becoming. She enjoyed attending their sporting events and performances. Loved the time spent playing games, although she never let them win either. One of the reasons she fought the cancer so hard was her desire to see as much of their lives and life-events as she could. I’m sure BeBe’s spirit will be on the sidelines and in their hearts cheering along with the rest of us.

• After moving to Nutbush, Lara became more to Mama than her youngest daughter, morphing really into her best friend. The endless & random life situations in which Lara finds herself provided Mama a lot of entertainment and her company a lot of joy. My sister is hilarious, whether she means to be or not. Mama was so proud of the mother she became. She appreciated Lara’s humor, kindness, and willingness to fight for those around her.

• And what can I say about Daddy. My mother loved her Freddy fiercely, and he loved her with a devotion most of us will never find in a partner. For 53 years my parents walked, drove, boated, flew and (once) cruised this life together. Side by side. They found the joy in simple things, as well as big adventures in far-flung places, like riding camels in Morocco, which I’m sure Daddy had to talk her into doing. I know she was frightened by the camel because she was afraid of large animals, like horses, and was famously spit upon by a llama, the camel’s cud-chewing cousin. But because he wanted to ride, she did it anyway.

My mother was a smart, kind, and faithful lady, who held our extended family together, as a cousin mentioned to me this weekend. I appreciated the support she gave me and her insistence that I never give up on anything. She never accepted an excuse for not doing my best.  She is the biggest inspiration for my toughness, dedication, and success. I love you, Mama. Thank you for everything.

Lastly, I’m not sure how my family is going to function without her presence, but you know what?

We’re gonna to do it anyway.